Sunday, September 27, 2009

a Hamptonian's Rant*

Sooo, I was writing a blog about "good hair" [coming out in a few days] and while I was taking a twitter break I came across this twat [the twatters shall remain nameless] "Hampton d**ked me outta so much money it goin to be a while before I donate" Soo, most people would laugh at this and be like "hell yeah", but this has royally pissed me off

Lesson 39::
be the change you want to see

I've been wanting to do a blog of this sort for a while, but never did... but I feel like I should go ahead and get this off of my chest.

People who attend Hampton are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS complaining about EVERYTHING from the Cafe, the dorms, the buildings etc. They complain the food sucks, the buildings are too hot/cold, the dorms suck, theres mold in Moton, the bathrooms suck... blah blah blah.... But does anyone really take the time to stop blaming Harvey for everything and really get down to what the problem is?

Hampton is a private school, which means it gets little to no money from the state. So our tuition goes towards everything... However our tuition alone can not support everything.

At white schools Alumni donate soooo much money. Its a known fact that graduates of HBCUs don't donate. Which is so sad.

Regardless of how hard Hampton has d*cked you over, if you didn't like it you had and have plenty of opportunities to leave. So obviously you stayed for a reason, whether it was the university name, your friends, or your major. Whether you want to admit it or not you love Hampton, the lessons you learned, the relationships you've built, the crazy things that could only be experienced at Hampton. I feel like waaay to many people complain about what's wrong, and not what's right. So if you're not doing anything to better the situation please shut up*

So I said that to say this... If you don't plan on donating back to Hampton the second you gain success and have the means STOP COMPLAINING, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HELPING THE SITUATION.. INFACT, YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.

For those of you who will know me once I become successfull, you can hold me to this statement :: If I have the means to donate, I am going to donate. If I don't have the means, I'm going to come back and donate my time ::

This is exactly how I feel about The Harbors. People talk SOOO much sh*t about the Harbors. How dirty it is outside, the towing, the conditions... blah blah blah

So I ask you this... when you finish a drink do you throw your bottles and cups on the ground? Do you throw your ching chong on the ground when you're done eating? Oh, and your chicken wings? And do you thing breaking a beer bottle on the ground is cool?

Ok, well if you think that this is ok to do YOU'RE AnIDIOT [especially if you live in the harbors]. Why do you think the Harbors should try to improve anything if we can't even take care of it ourselves? I live in the back and there is SOO much stuff back here... If we expect the Harbors to improve, shouldn't we improve the Harbors as well?

"be the change you want to see"
-im just sayin*

i love, i love, i love my HIU,

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Where the wild things are*

Yay a new post...that I stole this from my girlfriend, l0l

I'm goign to post something CRAZY soon... omfg wait till yall see that.

But I believe this is something that oooh, every HU person can relate to cuz we all know someone who is...

Lesson 38:
in the closet

DISCLAIMER: if you a closet homo or a down-low man &get offended, OH WELL...

one thing ii hate, pretty much on the same level as the devil, is a "closet homo"

you know them guys that can dance to every Beyonce song almost as better than she can but swear up &down they straight...

or them girls that just say some questionable, kinda almost gay sh*t. or they too touchy with you &hug you a lil too long...

or the best one..
the ones that tell you they "bisexual", "but dont tell nobody" because it might shock people.

what these closet cases dont understand is that you give off signals. you try so hard to cover yourself that you wind up giving yourself away. its a battle you fighting &losing terribly.
then you are fighting a battle with yourself because you want to be open &able to be yourself around people but instead you have to pretend, front, &be fake in order to keep your secret. its just stupid &all you are doing is driving yourself into depression


ii was having a "bi-sexual" double standard convo with my friends the other day....
the conclusion we came up with is, we believe girls can truly be "bi-sexual"
BUT GUYS [no sir]
once you have had a d*ck in your a** or mouth, you are gay nigga-- end of story

ii have heard girls say all the time, "ii would never get with a "bi-sexual" guy"..
[well a high percentage of black males are considered on the DL, so chances are, you've already done it]

NOW THIS BRINGS ME TO THESE DOWN-LOW MEN...which ii am highly disgusted by these people
being on the down-low is not the same as being in the closet. my definition of down-low is the vast majority of the gay world knows you are gay but the straight world does not. &those 2 worlds never mix in your life, so it makes it easier to stay on the down low

FACT: most aids cases in the world are african american females
this is partially because of the down-low men. these guys tend to be reckless when it comes to having sex with guys. that world is like a guilty pleasure to them so they just don't care. ii have heard so many DL guys say "if ii had hiv/aids ii wouldnt tell my partner. imma just keep going with my life doing what ii was doing. its not my fault they didnt ask me to get tested"


10. He Likes To "Pretend" To Dance Like A Woman. While a 50 Cent or Jay Z song is on, they on the wall looking mad. But, as soon as Beyonce comes on, he is all over the dance floor poppin' his booty and doing it better than you girl. Yeh, you think he’s playing and trying to make you laugh. But child he’s really not. Besides ladies, you don’t want no man, who be poppin his booty to beyonce. That’s a no no.

9. He's Always With His Best Friend. I mean always together like two females. Always working out together, always on the phone together. And, you as the girlfriend wonder why he spends more time with his best friend than with you. And, as long as he is with you, no one will think that he is gay.

8. He Picks An Argument With You For No Reason. And, then leaves the house for hours. He does this so he has time for the both of you and his down low lover. If your man is always picking arguments with you and leaves the house for hours. If he’s not hiding that he’s gay, he’s hiding something. And, that’s another story, another time, and another place!

7.Look At His Walk. Does your dude walk too, too hard. So hard that it's noticeable. You think if you walk all hard and tough and all, people won't think that you are gay.

6. He's Extremely Secretive. Basically, if you know nothing about your man , it’s because he doesn’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to know that he is gay, that’s why everything with him is a big secret.

5. He Always Talks About How Chicks Want To Get At Him. But, in reality you never see him with none of the chicks. He's probably just saying them things to make you think he’s straight and to throw you off. In reality, all them chicks he talks about are really men. Okay....

4. He Hits And Beats On Women. I’m sorry, a real man does not hit a woman. But, a down low man will. Now, wait a minute some women do like getting a little roughed up, choked up, a little weave pulling during sex but that’s another story child. I’m talking about those Ike and Tina Turner beatings. He's just trying to prove to the world that he is a heterosexual man. Knowing deep inside he is a big ol queen inside.

3. He's Always Calling Somebody Else Gay. A dude that is just always like "He looks gay. He acts gay. He dresses gay. He walks gay". SHUT UP! You just want him to be gay, so you can have him. Stop calling everyone else gay and call the person who truly is gay and on the down low and that’s you.

2. He Wants To Make Love From Behind. If your man always want to give it to you in your butt every time your have sex, and gets mad when you don’t want to put it in your butt. That’s a sign. Because if your man like poking you in the booty. What makes you think he wouldn’t mind poking a man?

1. He's Homophobic. Is your dude always angry with gay people for no reason. Does he always have something negative to say about gay people. Does every time he see a gay dude, he got to make a comment. He is only saying these things to get the gay boy attention. Because deep inside he wants that gay boy or he wants to be free and happy like him. So he hates on the gay boy, because the gay boy can care less of what folks has to say about him and he’s going to be himself.

A real man will see a gay boy and say nothing



Saturday, September 12, 2009

further from your dreams*

another no intro post. This one means a lot to me because I can relate all to well...

Lesson 37:
go balls out

All of us are handed different situations each day. Some of the we take by the horns, other shy away from, and then there are the ones that we flat out miss. The reason that we do these things are: were confident in success, we're nervous, or we are taking a risk.

These situations can be anything from school, sports, relationships, friendships, theatre, etc*

Recently I was given a situation, and instead of jumping on it 100%, I was nervous and gave it 75... I can honestly say that this is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my life. I often look back on everything I did wrong, and wonder "Why didn't I just go all in?", "What was I so scared of?" and "Why did I assume this was going to be like the past?". All of these are questions that are hard for me to answer, because unfortunately the answer is "IDK". But then I wonder, how don't I know why I didn't give this my all? Now I feel like the biggest idiot in the world, and I would do any and everything to go back and change things.

If this happens, sometimes there are things you can do to fix the situation::
Once the opportunity is no longer that, but a reality... GO ALL OUT. Go above and beyond and beyond to show them that this is really what you want. Why should you do this? Because you shouldn't want to half do it both times. This could have completely passed you by, but you still succeeded in getting what you wanted. Don't drop the ball twice*

Sometimes the opportunity is gone and there is nothing you can do but blame yourself::
While the easiest thing to do is mope and cry, the best thing to do is take it as a lesson. Trust me, the hardest thing is knowing that you have missed out on something that you wanted so so bad, and knowing that once its gone... its gone. Take this as a lesson, so that you never make the same mistake again. The next time that there is something that you want don't make the same mistake twice. And if by some strand of luck you get your opportunity back and it's still what you want TAKE IT.

But to Rewind:: what happened?
Did you lead them on?
Did you tell them that you were ready even though you were hesitant? Big mistake #1- Honest Is The Best Policy. You should have been completely honest and let them know how scared you were. Let them know about a similar situation and how scared you are of the circumstances repeating themselves. Yall could have talked everything over, and then you would know that this time was going to be different. What you have to remember is that everyone is not the same, and everyone is not just out for their personal gain.
Did you leave them dry?
When the opportunity was handed to you did you just not say anything? When they would ask you about your decision making process did you just blow it off? Well why did you think that they were gonna stay around if you kept blowing them off? Don't run away and hide when your not sure about something. If its something that you really want, you should be able to talk to someone [if not them] about the situation. Not all outside opinions are good ones, but that may just show you how much you do in fact want this.

The best thing to do is to be completely honest. If you are weighing other options, let that be known. If you are terrified, let that be known. If you're not sure what you want, let that be known. With any doubts, thoughts or feelings that you have LET THEM BE KNOWN. If the response you get isn't what you want, then you know that this is not opportunity for you. But if they take you with open arms and talk to you about your fears then what's stopping you?

When there is something that you really want, no matter what it is, how hard it is to obtain, or how scared you are; jump on the reigns and go balls out. If things don't go the way you planned you can always say "At least I gave it my all". The worst feeling is "I wish I would have gone harder/given it my all".

The reason I started this whole blog in the first place was to voice my opinion on certain topics, and hopefully help someone learn from my mistakes. This is my biggest regret and I hope that if someone is on the fence about something, that you don't make the same mistake as me. I've been crying while writing this, because I wish I would have done these things. I should have talked about all of my concerns, my worries and my fears. If I would have done this I would have known that everything was going to be OK. I have no one to blame but myself, and I don't know what to do to fix the situation. The scary thing is, there may be nothing I can do to fix it [the same applies for your situation].

So where do you go from here? The opportunity is lost, your a wreck, and you want nothing more than to get this back. You just KNOW deep in your heart that this was yours, and you will stop at nothing to get it back. As crazy as it sounds, the thing you need to do is chill. Yes, maybe the opportunity is supposed to be yours, but maybe its just not your time for it. While moping is the easiest thing to do [and something that I've been doing] thats not going to bring the opportunity back. Work on yourself inside and out, so that if/when the opportunity comes back you are ready for it. And if it comes back- it's going to be better than ever*

anything can happen with Magic*,

Thursday, September 10, 2009

who you callin a hoe?

so, my mind friend tony has agreed to send me stuff to post on the blog !! AYE !! haha
even tho im livid with him posting it on FB before I could post it here, you HU peeps have no clue who he is, so I cant feel too bad. Enjoy the blog, its amazing....

Lesson 36:
the ever present question

Before I start...
I wanna get something off my chest that we probably all can we relate to:


FORFE occurs when plans and arrangements are made for you and your “other” and something comes up on their end that results in them not being able to show up. BUT, they don’t let you know anything…

At all...

U just wait on them and they never show up...

We too old for that. I understand that things come up and things happen, but you should have the decency to let me know something. I take time out of my day and miss arrangements for you, and you can’t even call and tell him that you can’t fall thru.
(Real talk, I’mma start doin dat in a minute. I'm just gonna stand you up. That way, you know what it feels like next time you decide to get amnesia and don’t call.)

Back to business…

All of us have faced this certain

question that leaves many people in IDK mode…

question that leaves most men speechless and most women guessing…


I saw this in my mini-feed on some chick's status earlier this week. I thought about it for a lil minute, and then I called
Mary Jane over to get her opinion and this is what we came up with.
(Feel free to agree or disagree. This is only my personal opinion.)

First, I wanna address the male side.

“Why is it okay for dudes to sex a lot of girls!?”

Unfortunately, this is just how society is and the nature of men. Just how females were taught to be ladies, many dudes were taught to be men. However, many of these guys were taught the wrong stuff. Boys go thru their entire life doing what they believe makes them a man. For some, manhood is determined on how many guys they whooped, how much money they made, and of course, how many
hoes girls they have had sex with.

What they failed to learn was how to be more of a GENTLEMAN, which is the exact opposite of what they’re trying to become. They failed to learn that GENTLEMAN should understand that there is more to value in females than what her “head game hittin on” and how good her poochie is.


If you were ever called a hoe its probably been because of either 1 or 2 reasons.

1. Whoever called you a hoe probably doesn’t even know anything about you to even call you one in the first place. Many of you may find yourself saying, “But Tony, I don’t do anything! I only had sex with _ dude(s) and I’m a hoe!?” If this applies to you, then the best thing to do is just brush it off and keep going on with your life.
(Understand that people are gonna talk about you regardless of what you’re doing right or wrong. Sadly, some people’s purpose in life is to just hate and talk sh*t to try and bring you down to their level. F*ck em.)

2. You have too much of your personal business on the streets.

If #2 applies to you, let me educate you…


Throughout your life, you have been taught the customs and etiquette of being a “lady.” Since you were in the dayz of training bras, Jellies shoes, and “Ponchanella” clapping games, you were taught the simple do’s and don’ts of being as ladylike as you can be. Little stuff such as not letting a boy pick you up with your skirt on, crossing your ankles when you sit, not spitting/burping/farting in public, etc… made you prone to be more “lady –like”.

Some of you are still working on being the perfect lady. Many of you don’t smoke/drink in public, don’t get drunk in public, or even cuss in public.

...Notice the keyword was

A big part about being “Lady-Like” that many of you are missing is not having your business out to the PUBLIC.
(An important concept to understand about being a lady is NOT what YOU do, its what others KNOW YOU DO.)

Many of you are forgetting about DISCRETION. You tell all you're messy home girls your personal business and the next day you're on blast. You're not called a hoe for what you’re doing or who you’re doing. Its how you got your private business out to the public.

What I’m saying is,

No one should KNOW you having sex with that many dudes in the first place. Ain't nothing classy about telling about all the ceilings you left your footprints on. Keep your business to yourself and you’ll see a big change in how people look at you.
(Ever heard of that saying, "lady in the street, freak in the bed"?? Many of you are forgetting about the first part...)


Ladies, it really all boils down to who YOU are and what type of guys you're messin with that determines how you are looked at as a hoe. Understand the difference between fake men and true gentlemen. Know that just because you keepin your business on the low, it doesn’t mean that he aint getting p*ssy-happy and tellin all yall’s business to his messy homeboys. Know who you're messin wit.

The moral of the story:
Women, Men, Ladies, Gentlemen, pimps, hoes, and everything else in between:

-Tony Sosa

Thursday, September 3, 2009

said he wanna sex me*

So, yesterday I was talkin to one of my really good guy friends DH. I was telling him about how 2 people had really just flat-out asked me to have sex (at different times). When I said no to both of them, they thought I was kidding. I asked DH if they were being serious, and he was like yeah.... they were serious.

Lesson 35::
what makes a person sexually attractive?

I asked him what would even make them ask me that, and he replied "Monroe, a lot of people want to have sex with you" Now I would be lying if i said that no one has ever said this to me before. I don't get what the big deal is tho.

When I look in the mirror I don't see what the big deal is. I don't think I'm the baddest girl in the world, I don't consider my self popular so it can't be for status. Is it because I have a girlfriend and they want to test me? Then I start to think, is it the things they have heard about me? Yeah, that could be it... the only thing is the vast majority of the things I hear about myself are lies, and people who know me know that when I do something I fess up to it. I don't see the point in lying about something that everyone already knows about. They also know that when I hear something thats not true, after its been discussed I don't bring it up anymore.

So lets talk about these boys*

The things thats baffles me the most tho, is why guys think that they are any different from their friends. I mean lets be real... if I told your friend no, why don't you think I would tell you no? no seriously, Im asking you this question. Is it so you can go to your friends and be like "oh man, she let me beat and told you no"? You silly boys, thats another reason I'm NOT going to have sex with you.

I've had numerous guys ask me on numerous occasions if we could have sex, and I have told these guys no on numerous occasions. So what makes you guys come back? Is it because when you approach me I laugh it off and don't make a big deal about it? Is it because you like the thrill of the chase? Or is it because you actually like me and are just trying to hide your feelings? Well whatever it is, you guys need to chill out, because in the long run it just makes you look dumb... especially when you approach one of my friends and all we do is laugh at you.

The guys who make me laugh the most are the guys who ask you and don't believe you when you say no.
Now for some girls, this happens when they have had sex with one of the guys friends::
The guy approaches you, knowing that you have had sex with his homeboy. Then when you say no they say "but you did so&so"...[there are many things wrong with this situation]
1. Why is this nigga whining?
2. Why does he think that because you did his homie you want to do him?
3. why is he brining him up in order get the goods?
This maddness needs to stop... guys stop usin ur home boys to get girls... yeah there are some girls who will do you cuz of who you know, but lets be serious, you are in college and you're not famous and neither is your friend... so those girls are gonna come once every blue moon.

Then there are the guys who think that they are top notch. They approach you with some smooth pretty boy talk [that he approaches every girl with]. The sad thing is that this works on many girls. So when you turn him down one of two things happen::
1. He's going to continue to spit game at you
2. He's going to turn into a little girl
If #1 happens the guy may try to play it off like he was just kiddin or say something like "well i'll give you time to realize what your missing". Usually if the guy starts off like #1 he's going to evolve into #2. Why, because this is the "hot shot, cocky nigga" on campus and you just turned him down after "he picked you" and he's "offended". Tell this little boy to get over himself... everyone's not going to want to do you, and those who have probably regret doing it.

What about those guys who are your "homeboys" and try you? I feel like those are the worse, because they probably know everything about you, know how you act, about the boys who have approached you and so on... They are going to approach you the most correct way, because they know you the best. Now why these guys want to have sex is beyond me... maybe they have always wanted to, or maybe they just realized that you're actually attractive, or it could be for some selfish reason. Whatever the reason tho, its your friend and you feel weird having sex with him. So when you say no::
1. You may hurt his ego, and it may ruin your friendship
2. He'll get over it and everything will be fine.
This is a tricky one because it's usually never expected...

No matter how many different guys there are and how they approach you, the real problem is the fact that they are approaching you just trying to get some in the first place. However this problem is not just caused by the guys, it's also caused by the girls who still continue to be OK with just having sex. As everyone already knows I'm against "waiting until your married" but that doesn't mean I think its OK to just do whoever whenever. And guys should realize that just because you want us, we don't have to want you.