Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Whose REALLY More Satanic:: Wacka Flacka or Lady Gaga?

So, I have been on twitter and I keep seeing people refer to both Lady Gaga and Rhinanna as [devil worshippers, satanist, Satan himself... and BLAH BLAH BLAH]

Ive seen that people refer to them as these things because of their preformances and lyrics.

I am a HUGE Lady Gaga, and Rihanna fan... I love people who are different and aren't afraid to take risks and do what they want. So I've been referred to as "crazy" for liking this girls... I mean its not like its the first time I've been called crazy... but I find it funny this time...

So what Lady Gaga went up on MTV's stage... started bleeding and then died on stage...
Now everyone is entitled to a different opinion... but in MY EYES ::
she was symbolizing how the paparazzi will take over your life so much that they will kill you...
OR that you will be so afraid of the paparazzi that you end up killing yourself [depression, drugs, alcoholism, or you just won't go anywhere and will be scared to leave your house].
I LOOOVED her performance, probably because I got what she was trying to portray...

Now, on to Rihanna... People are referring to her as all of the things because of the way she has been dressing and her new song "Russian Roulette"... I believe everyone who is calling this song "satanic" doesn't exactly know what Russian Roulette is....
[its a game where there is one bullet in a six bullet chamber. The players go back and forth firing the gun AT EACH OTHER and obviously, either you die(or get injured) or you win]
The reason I explained that is because people keep saying that she is talking about Suicide.... uhh nooo. First of all this song is a METAPHOR ... She is comparing LOVE to RUSSIAN ROULETTE. They way I took it was that love is usually a loosing game.... at the end of the relationship, one person always comes out on top of the other.
Sometimes the person who wins is just over the situation, they have fallen out of love, and this relationship lost is not going to hurt them, while the other person is in distraught, and feels like the other person just shot a bullet thru their heart.
Or sometimes, the person who pulls the trigger is really the person who is hurting. They caught their partner doing something wrong, and now its their time to end things. They don't want to pull the trigger, but they know that they have too.
That is why she is so nervous in the song, not only does she not know who is going to pull the gun at the right time, but she doesn't necessarily want to be the person who shoots the bullet.

So I guess i'm "crazy" but I dont see the satanic message in either one of these artist...
But I mean, its funny to me how these girls are satanic in the black community, but artist's like Gucci Mane, Wacka Flacka, Snoop Dogg or even Biggie and Tupac are not considered.
[In my eye's none of these artist are.. but if ima take it there I HAVE to take it there. I know a bunch of yall are gonna be salty, but I haven't cared before and I STILL don't care now.]

How is singing about Russian Roulette or bleeding on stage satanic, but talking about drugs, fighting, dirty money, killing and sex not? In my eyes, these things are way more satanic that anything Rihana and Lady Gaga have talked about or done.

I was gonna take some quotes out of select songs from each of these artist, but it would prove my point way to well, and then no debate would even be able....

All of these rappers have talked about killing people for drugs, money, and other things.
All of these rappers have talked about having sex with girls, and watching strippers.
All of these rappers have talked about drug dealing OR done it themselves
All of these rappers have talked about fighting....

So in a sense the artist that you people love are more satanic than the artist you love to hate...
[im just sayin]



Woow.. Its been over a month since I've blogged....
It's not that I was being lazy, I just really had nothing to blog about....

Well I finally do again!! [yessss...]
There will be some changes to the blog... I dont feel like having "lessons" anymore... it constricts what I talk about too much, and coming up with lesson names is annoying...

So now, that means that I will pretty much talk about anything I desire on here... whether its clothes, music, love... etc etc etc....

So I hope you guys enjoy the changes. =]


Sunday, September 27, 2009

a Hamptonian's Rant*

Sooo, I was writing a blog about "good hair" [coming out in a few days] and while I was taking a twitter break I came across this twat [the twatters shall remain nameless] "Hampton d**ked me outta so much money it goin to be a while before I donate" Soo, most people would laugh at this and be like "hell yeah", but this has royally pissed me off

Lesson 39::
be the change you want to see

I've been wanting to do a blog of this sort for a while, but never did... but I feel like I should go ahead and get this off of my chest.

People who attend Hampton are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS complaining about EVERYTHING from the Cafe, the dorms, the buildings etc. They complain the food sucks, the buildings are too hot/cold, the dorms suck, theres mold in Moton, the bathrooms suck... blah blah blah.... But does anyone really take the time to stop blaming Harvey for everything and really get down to what the problem is?

Hampton is a private school, which means it gets little to no money from the state. So our tuition goes towards everything... However our tuition alone can not support everything.

At white schools Alumni donate soooo much money. Its a known fact that graduates of HBCUs don't donate. Which is so sad.

Regardless of how hard Hampton has d*cked you over, if you didn't like it you had and have plenty of opportunities to leave. So obviously you stayed for a reason, whether it was the university name, your friends, or your major. Whether you want to admit it or not you love Hampton, the lessons you learned, the relationships you've built, the crazy things that could only be experienced at Hampton. I feel like waaay to many people complain about what's wrong, and not what's right. So if you're not doing anything to better the situation please shut up*

So I said that to say this... If you don't plan on donating back to Hampton the second you gain success and have the means STOP COMPLAINING, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HELPING THE SITUATION.. INFACT, YOU ARE MAKING IT WORSE FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS.

For those of you who will know me once I become successfull, you can hold me to this statement :: If I have the means to donate, I am going to donate. If I don't have the means, I'm going to come back and donate my time ::

This is exactly how I feel about The Harbors. People talk SOOO much sh*t about the Harbors. How dirty it is outside, the towing, the conditions... blah blah blah

So I ask you this... when you finish a drink do you throw your bottles and cups on the ground? Do you throw your ching chong on the ground when you're done eating? Oh, and your chicken wings? And do you thing breaking a beer bottle on the ground is cool?

Ok, well if you think that this is ok to do YOU'RE AnIDIOT [especially if you live in the harbors]. Why do you think the Harbors should try to improve anything if we can't even take care of it ourselves? I live in the back and there is SOO much stuff back here... If we expect the Harbors to improve, shouldn't we improve the Harbors as well?

"be the change you want to see"
-im just sayin*

i love, i love, i love my HIU,

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Where the wild things are*

Yay a new post...that I stole this from my girlfriend, l0l

I'm goign to post something CRAZY soon... omfg wait till yall see that.

But I believe this is something that oooh, every HU person can relate to cuz we all know someone who is...

Lesson 38:
in the closet

DISCLAIMER: if you a closet homo or a down-low man &get offended, OH WELL...

one thing ii hate, pretty much on the same level as the devil, is a "closet homo"

you know them guys that can dance to every Beyonce song almost as better than she can but swear up &down they straight...

or them girls that just say some questionable, kinda almost gay sh*t. or they too touchy with you &hug you a lil too long...

or the best one..
the ones that tell you they "bisexual", "but dont tell nobody" because it might shock people.

what these closet cases dont understand is that you give off signals. you try so hard to cover yourself that you wind up giving yourself away. its a battle you fighting &losing terribly.
then you are fighting a battle with yourself because you want to be open &able to be yourself around people but instead you have to pretend, front, &be fake in order to keep your secret. its just stupid &all you are doing is driving yourself into depression


ii was having a "bi-sexual" double standard convo with my friends the other day....
the conclusion we came up with is, we believe girls can truly be "bi-sexual"
BUT GUYS [no sir]
once you have had a d*ck in your a** or mouth, you are gay nigga-- end of story

ii have heard girls say all the time, "ii would never get with a "bi-sexual" guy"..
[well a high percentage of black males are considered on the DL, so chances are, you've already done it]

NOW THIS BRINGS ME TO THESE DOWN-LOW MEN...which ii am highly disgusted by these people
being on the down-low is not the same as being in the closet. my definition of down-low is the vast majority of the gay world knows you are gay but the straight world does not. &those 2 worlds never mix in your life, so it makes it easier to stay on the down low

FACT: most aids cases in the world are african american females
this is partially because of the down-low men. these guys tend to be reckless when it comes to having sex with guys. that world is like a guilty pleasure to them so they just don't care. ii have heard so many DL guys say "if ii had hiv/aids ii wouldnt tell my partner. imma just keep going with my life doing what ii was doing. its not my fault they didnt ask me to get tested"


10. He Likes To "Pretend" To Dance Like A Woman. While a 50 Cent or Jay Z song is on, they on the wall looking mad. But, as soon as Beyonce comes on, he is all over the dance floor poppin' his booty and doing it better than you girl. Yeh, you think he’s playing and trying to make you laugh. But child he’s really not. Besides ladies, you don’t want no man, who be poppin his booty to beyonce. That’s a no no.

9. He's Always With His Best Friend. I mean always together like two females. Always working out together, always on the phone together. And, you as the girlfriend wonder why he spends more time with his best friend than with you. And, as long as he is with you, no one will think that he is gay.

8. He Picks An Argument With You For No Reason. And, then leaves the house for hours. He does this so he has time for the both of you and his down low lover. If your man is always picking arguments with you and leaves the house for hours. If he’s not hiding that he’s gay, he’s hiding something. And, that’s another story, another time, and another place!

7.Look At His Walk. Does your dude walk too, too hard. So hard that it's noticeable. You think if you walk all hard and tough and all, people won't think that you are gay.

6. He's Extremely Secretive. Basically, if you know nothing about your man , it’s because he doesn’t want you to know. He doesn’t want you to know that he is gay, that’s why everything with him is a big secret.

5. He Always Talks About How Chicks Want To Get At Him. But, in reality you never see him with none of the chicks. He's probably just saying them things to make you think he’s straight and to throw you off. In reality, all them chicks he talks about are really men. Okay....

4. He Hits And Beats On Women. I’m sorry, a real man does not hit a woman. But, a down low man will. Now, wait a minute some women do like getting a little roughed up, choked up, a little weave pulling during sex but that’s another story child. I’m talking about those Ike and Tina Turner beatings. He's just trying to prove to the world that he is a heterosexual man. Knowing deep inside he is a big ol queen inside.

3. He's Always Calling Somebody Else Gay. A dude that is just always like "He looks gay. He acts gay. He dresses gay. He walks gay". SHUT UP! You just want him to be gay, so you can have him. Stop calling everyone else gay and call the person who truly is gay and on the down low and that’s you.

2. He Wants To Make Love From Behind. If your man always want to give it to you in your butt every time your have sex, and gets mad when you don’t want to put it in your butt. That’s a sign. Because if your man like poking you in the booty. What makes you think he wouldn’t mind poking a man?

1. He's Homophobic. Is your dude always angry with gay people for no reason. Does he always have something negative to say about gay people. Does every time he see a gay dude, he got to make a comment. He is only saying these things to get the gay boy attention. Because deep inside he wants that gay boy or he wants to be free and happy like him. So he hates on the gay boy, because the gay boy can care less of what folks has to say about him and he’s going to be himself.

A real man will see a gay boy and say nothing



Saturday, September 12, 2009

further from your dreams*

another no intro post. This one means a lot to me because I can relate all to well...

Lesson 37:
go balls out

All of us are handed different situations each day. Some of the we take by the horns, other shy away from, and then there are the ones that we flat out miss. The reason that we do these things are: were confident in success, we're nervous, or we are taking a risk.

These situations can be anything from school, sports, relationships, friendships, theatre, etc*

Recently I was given a situation, and instead of jumping on it 100%, I was nervous and gave it 75... I can honestly say that this is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my life. I often look back on everything I did wrong, and wonder "Why didn't I just go all in?", "What was I so scared of?" and "Why did I assume this was going to be like the past?". All of these are questions that are hard for me to answer, because unfortunately the answer is "IDK". But then I wonder, how don't I know why I didn't give this my all? Now I feel like the biggest idiot in the world, and I would do any and everything to go back and change things.

If this happens, sometimes there are things you can do to fix the situation::
Once the opportunity is no longer that, but a reality... GO ALL OUT. Go above and beyond and beyond to show them that this is really what you want. Why should you do this? Because you shouldn't want to half do it both times. This could have completely passed you by, but you still succeeded in getting what you wanted. Don't drop the ball twice*

Sometimes the opportunity is gone and there is nothing you can do but blame yourself::
While the easiest thing to do is mope and cry, the best thing to do is take it as a lesson. Trust me, the hardest thing is knowing that you have missed out on something that you wanted so so bad, and knowing that once its gone... its gone. Take this as a lesson, so that you never make the same mistake again. The next time that there is something that you want don't make the same mistake twice. And if by some strand of luck you get your opportunity back and it's still what you want TAKE IT.

But to Rewind:: what happened?
Did you lead them on?
Did you tell them that you were ready even though you were hesitant? Big mistake #1- Honest Is The Best Policy. You should have been completely honest and let them know how scared you were. Let them know about a similar situation and how scared you are of the circumstances repeating themselves. Yall could have talked everything over, and then you would know that this time was going to be different. What you have to remember is that everyone is not the same, and everyone is not just out for their personal gain.
Did you leave them dry?
When the opportunity was handed to you did you just not say anything? When they would ask you about your decision making process did you just blow it off? Well why did you think that they were gonna stay around if you kept blowing them off? Don't run away and hide when your not sure about something. If its something that you really want, you should be able to talk to someone [if not them] about the situation. Not all outside opinions are good ones, but that may just show you how much you do in fact want this.

The best thing to do is to be completely honest. If you are weighing other options, let that be known. If you are terrified, let that be known. If you're not sure what you want, let that be known. With any doubts, thoughts or feelings that you have LET THEM BE KNOWN. If the response you get isn't what you want, then you know that this is not opportunity for you. But if they take you with open arms and talk to you about your fears then what's stopping you?

When there is something that you really want, no matter what it is, how hard it is to obtain, or how scared you are; jump on the reigns and go balls out. If things don't go the way you planned you can always say "At least I gave it my all". The worst feeling is "I wish I would have gone harder/given it my all".

The reason I started this whole blog in the first place was to voice my opinion on certain topics, and hopefully help someone learn from my mistakes. This is my biggest regret and I hope that if someone is on the fence about something, that you don't make the same mistake as me. I've been crying while writing this, because I wish I would have done these things. I should have talked about all of my concerns, my worries and my fears. If I would have done this I would have known that everything was going to be OK. I have no one to blame but myself, and I don't know what to do to fix the situation. The scary thing is, there may be nothing I can do to fix it [the same applies for your situation].

So where do you go from here? The opportunity is lost, your a wreck, and you want nothing more than to get this back. You just KNOW deep in your heart that this was yours, and you will stop at nothing to get it back. As crazy as it sounds, the thing you need to do is chill. Yes, maybe the opportunity is supposed to be yours, but maybe its just not your time for it. While moping is the easiest thing to do [and something that I've been doing] thats not going to bring the opportunity back. Work on yourself inside and out, so that if/when the opportunity comes back you are ready for it. And if it comes back- it's going to be better than ever*

anything can happen with Magic*,

Thursday, September 10, 2009

who you callin a hoe?

so, my mind friend tony has agreed to send me stuff to post on the blog !! AYE !! haha
even tho im livid with him posting it on FB before I could post it here, you HU peeps have no clue who he is, so I cant feel too bad. Enjoy the blog, its amazing....

Lesson 36:
the ever present question

Before I start...
I wanna get something off my chest that we probably all can we relate to:


FORFE occurs when plans and arrangements are made for you and your “other” and something comes up on their end that results in them not being able to show up. BUT, they don’t let you know anything…

At all...

U just wait on them and they never show up...

We too old for that. I understand that things come up and things happen, but you should have the decency to let me know something. I take time out of my day and miss arrangements for you, and you can’t even call and tell him that you can’t fall thru.
(Real talk, I’mma start doin dat in a minute. I'm just gonna stand you up. That way, you know what it feels like next time you decide to get amnesia and don’t call.)

Back to business…

All of us have faced this certain

question that leaves many people in IDK mode…

question that leaves most men speechless and most women guessing…


I saw this in my mini-feed on some chick's status earlier this week. I thought about it for a lil minute, and then I called
Mary Jane over to get her opinion and this is what we came up with.
(Feel free to agree or disagree. This is only my personal opinion.)

First, I wanna address the male side.

“Why is it okay for dudes to sex a lot of girls!?”

Unfortunately, this is just how society is and the nature of men. Just how females were taught to be ladies, many dudes were taught to be men. However, many of these guys were taught the wrong stuff. Boys go thru their entire life doing what they believe makes them a man. For some, manhood is determined on how many guys they whooped, how much money they made, and of course, how many
hoes girls they have had sex with.

What they failed to learn was how to be more of a GENTLEMAN, which is the exact opposite of what they’re trying to become. They failed to learn that GENTLEMAN should understand that there is more to value in females than what her “head game hittin on” and how good her poochie is.


If you were ever called a hoe its probably been because of either 1 or 2 reasons.

1. Whoever called you a hoe probably doesn’t even know anything about you to even call you one in the first place. Many of you may find yourself saying, “But Tony, I don’t do anything! I only had sex with _ dude(s) and I’m a hoe!?” If this applies to you, then the best thing to do is just brush it off and keep going on with your life.
(Understand that people are gonna talk about you regardless of what you’re doing right or wrong. Sadly, some people’s purpose in life is to just hate and talk sh*t to try and bring you down to their level. F*ck em.)

2. You have too much of your personal business on the streets.

If #2 applies to you, let me educate you…


Throughout your life, you have been taught the customs and etiquette of being a “lady.” Since you were in the dayz of training bras, Jellies shoes, and “Ponchanella” clapping games, you were taught the simple do’s and don’ts of being as ladylike as you can be. Little stuff such as not letting a boy pick you up with your skirt on, crossing your ankles when you sit, not spitting/burping/farting in public, etc… made you prone to be more “lady –like”.

Some of you are still working on being the perfect lady. Many of you don’t smoke/drink in public, don’t get drunk in public, or even cuss in public.

...Notice the keyword was

A big part about being “Lady-Like” that many of you are missing is not having your business out to the PUBLIC.
(An important concept to understand about being a lady is NOT what YOU do, its what others KNOW YOU DO.)

Many of you are forgetting about DISCRETION. You tell all you're messy home girls your personal business and the next day you're on blast. You're not called a hoe for what you’re doing or who you’re doing. Its how you got your private business out to the public.

What I’m saying is,

No one should KNOW you having sex with that many dudes in the first place. Ain't nothing classy about telling about all the ceilings you left your footprints on. Keep your business to yourself and you’ll see a big change in how people look at you.
(Ever heard of that saying, "lady in the street, freak in the bed"?? Many of you are forgetting about the first part...)


Ladies, it really all boils down to who YOU are and what type of guys you're messin with that determines how you are looked at as a hoe. Understand the difference between fake men and true gentlemen. Know that just because you keepin your business on the low, it doesn’t mean that he aint getting p*ssy-happy and tellin all yall’s business to his messy homeboys. Know who you're messin wit.

The moral of the story:
Women, Men, Ladies, Gentlemen, pimps, hoes, and everything else in between:

-Tony Sosa

Thursday, September 3, 2009

said he wanna sex me*

So, yesterday I was talkin to one of my really good guy friends DH. I was telling him about how 2 people had really just flat-out asked me to have sex (at different times). When I said no to both of them, they thought I was kidding. I asked DH if they were being serious, and he was like yeah.... they were serious.

Lesson 35::
what makes a person sexually attractive?

I asked him what would even make them ask me that, and he replied "Monroe, a lot of people want to have sex with you" Now I would be lying if i said that no one has ever said this to me before. I don't get what the big deal is tho.

When I look in the mirror I don't see what the big deal is. I don't think I'm the baddest girl in the world, I don't consider my self popular so it can't be for status. Is it because I have a girlfriend and they want to test me? Then I start to think, is it the things they have heard about me? Yeah, that could be it... the only thing is the vast majority of the things I hear about myself are lies, and people who know me know that when I do something I fess up to it. I don't see the point in lying about something that everyone already knows about. They also know that when I hear something thats not true, after its been discussed I don't bring it up anymore.

So lets talk about these boys*

The things thats baffles me the most tho, is why guys think that they are any different from their friends. I mean lets be real... if I told your friend no, why don't you think I would tell you no? no seriously, Im asking you this question. Is it so you can go to your friends and be like "oh man, she let me beat and told you no"? You silly boys, thats another reason I'm NOT going to have sex with you.

I've had numerous guys ask me on numerous occasions if we could have sex, and I have told these guys no on numerous occasions. So what makes you guys come back? Is it because when you approach me I laugh it off and don't make a big deal about it? Is it because you like the thrill of the chase? Or is it because you actually like me and are just trying to hide your feelings? Well whatever it is, you guys need to chill out, because in the long run it just makes you look dumb... especially when you approach one of my friends and all we do is laugh at you.

The guys who make me laugh the most are the guys who ask you and don't believe you when you say no.
Now for some girls, this happens when they have had sex with one of the guys friends::
The guy approaches you, knowing that you have had sex with his homeboy. Then when you say no they say "but you did so&so"...[there are many things wrong with this situation]
1. Why is this nigga whining?
2. Why does he think that because you did his homie you want to do him?
3. why is he brining him up in order get the goods?
This maddness needs to stop... guys stop usin ur home boys to get girls... yeah there are some girls who will do you cuz of who you know, but lets be serious, you are in college and you're not famous and neither is your friend... so those girls are gonna come once every blue moon.

Then there are the guys who think that they are top notch. They approach you with some smooth pretty boy talk [that he approaches every girl with]. The sad thing is that this works on many girls. So when you turn him down one of two things happen::
1. He's going to continue to spit game at you
2. He's going to turn into a little girl
If #1 happens the guy may try to play it off like he was just kiddin or say something like "well i'll give you time to realize what your missing". Usually if the guy starts off like #1 he's going to evolve into #2. Why, because this is the "hot shot, cocky nigga" on campus and you just turned him down after "he picked you" and he's "offended". Tell this little boy to get over himself... everyone's not going to want to do you, and those who have probably regret doing it.

What about those guys who are your "homeboys" and try you? I feel like those are the worse, because they probably know everything about you, know how you act, about the boys who have approached you and so on... They are going to approach you the most correct way, because they know you the best. Now why these guys want to have sex is beyond me... maybe they have always wanted to, or maybe they just realized that you're actually attractive, or it could be for some selfish reason. Whatever the reason tho, its your friend and you feel weird having sex with him. So when you say no::
1. You may hurt his ego, and it may ruin your friendship
2. He'll get over it and everything will be fine.
This is a tricky one because it's usually never expected...

No matter how many different guys there are and how they approach you, the real problem is the fact that they are approaching you just trying to get some in the first place. However this problem is not just caused by the guys, it's also caused by the girls who still continue to be OK with just having sex. As everyone already knows I'm against "waiting until your married" but that doesn't mean I think its OK to just do whoever whenever. And guys should realize that just because you want us, we don't have to want you.


Friday, August 28, 2009

a lesson from Brook Lynne Carter*

You guys all know how much I love the blog Lost in Brook, while I was blogging this morning I came across a post that I think everyone needs to read. While this post is about her personal battles, you could easily take the word [stripper] out and [insert] what it is you do. And while no one wants to admit it, there is a person who YOU don't like.... but your friends with them on twitter/myspace/facebook/downelink [or any of these other sites] and you go to their profile every once and a while [or more for you other people] and you creep.. we all creep.. and if you say you don't i say [bs].... how else do you know what they are doing with their pathetic life... but at the end of the day [who is more pathetic?]

ponder that for the day, and enjoy the post.

Lesson 34:
Why are you so obsessed with me?

i get an AMAZING amount of support from a lot of people, whom iv never had the pleasure of meeting, and probably never will. i get emails daily as well as comments on my blog and/or tweets from people who tune into my aimless journaling-which i never thought would be read by so many people, giving me kudos and just general encouragement. i am forever grateful and thankful for peoples open minds, which i am not trying to change, just enlighten.
on the flip side..when does a natural interest turn into a daily habit, and then a guilty pleasure, and eventually turning into an obsession? when do we start having control over the urge to be fixated on something that we later feel guilty for indulging in? or controlling the obsession of being destructive or malice. not to say that the people who SUPPORT me are obsessed at all..but i am speaking of the people who indirectly support me with their anonymous foot traffic on my blog, leaving comments that are more like attacks, rather than "differences" in opinion.

Passion is a positive obsession. Obsession is a negativepassion.

the internet (the NEW home of the brave) has become a cowards playground. a place where anyone can assume an identity and feel free to release anything that internally disturbs them without having the retribution of argument, or looking miserable or angry. unfortunately my blog has fallen victim to unhappy people who's guilty pleasure, being my blog, has turned into some kind of phantom fetish-which allows people who dislike strippers, strip clubs etc, to vent via my site about how disgusting and awful it is that i dance, without disclosing their identity OR ever having to convey this to me face to face. and i can always respect an opinion and/or a belief, religious or not, what i can not understand is the freak obsession that comes with being "anti-brook". if you dislike what i do, which leads you to dislike me, why do you tune in? why do you subject yourself to a lifestyle that infuriates you so much that you leave nasty comments of judgement?

while most people would call this "hate" or my "hater(s)", i disagree. i do not think this is hate. i think that this is borderline stalking. to pursue someone, indirect or not..daily, or consistently, even in a negative way, is to stalk them and/or prey on them. stalking is a crime of passion. not hate. and god bless anyone who finds enough time in their day to feel passionate about someone they dont even know. when does this turn into an obsession? when you feel moved to actually comment..with anonymity, trying to get some kind of response from the person that you have been paying attention to..secretly. you tell a friend about this stripper who has the nerve to not be ashamed. your mad. i evoke emotion in you. the person whom site you wont leave alone. that means your obsessed. dont let my site dominate your day, its ridiculous to support me with negativity, it will just empower me.

i personally do not indulge in anything or anyone that turns me off. so it is beyond me why people put in the effort of fake twitter pages/myspace pages, negative comments left by the ghosting anonymous obsessors. it almost seems like it would drain the life out of you to put so much energy into something-that by no means, has anything to do with you. i have nothing but empathy for the people who have brought so much negativity to my blog because they are either unhappy or too afraid to have their own opinion. as you can see, i am the opposite. i back my opinion and my choice to strip, everyday-with a blog, a face, and no apologies. and your STILL mad.

my passion is not stripping, it is writing. and i write about whatever i want, including but not limited to strip. dont let your passion turn into something that attacks another. disagreeing with what i do just puts you in the masses, your not alone, and that in no way offends, moves, or scares me. so why be afraid to be who you are, when there are so many like you. trust me, it takes a lot more courage for me to be who i am, with so many against me. those who take shots, and then hide their hands, are weaker than me, so i wont pick on you. please turn the channel, im a stripper, lol, and honestly i do not think that i or anyone else can stop someone elses raging intensity. the only cure for obsession, is to find another one. so, for all the folks who like to be anonymous aggressors on social networks, you may want to redirect your anger and hug it out with your parents. some how, along the way, some l-ve is greatly missing. thank you to all supporters, those who openly appreciate me and the closeted ones as well, who only come out to be negative. judging me so much, leave less time to l-ve me. :o]

"When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."-- Wayne Dyer

to twitter is to love,

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

kids and sex

So, I was watching TV while I break from painting my room.. and I saw a commercial about parents talking to their kids about sex...

lesson 33::
its not your choice

In the commercial it was saying, don't worry about the parts, just tell us to wait..

In my mind I thought [BS] ... I personally don't believe in waiting to have sex till marriage. I believe in waiting till you're in LOVE. Some people will try [and lose] to argue "well when your married your in love" and thats bs too. People love to forget that people get married for other reasons that love such as money, power, status... and sex.

I feel as if parents who try to force their beliefs on their children are hurting their children more than helping them. We all know someone whose parents were strict when they were growing up and when they get to college they are either::
a) friendless
b)whores or
c) psychopaths

If you fit into one of these categories, Im not saying that your parents did a bad job at raising you, I AM saying that if they had been a little more lenient you probably wouldn't be in one of these categories.

On the flip side people fit into these categories because their parents were TOO lenient. They really didn't care what [or who] they did, and didn't bother [or care] to ask.

Things like sex talks are hard for some people, but if you never ask you never know. I know people who have never been tested [and need too], and never been to the gyno [and REALLY need too].

Parents are scared about doing these things and they shouldn't. First and foremost.. all girls are supposed to go to the gyno when they turn 18... this is because most girls lose their virginity before 18 and most parents don't know. Some parents don't want to do this because they feel it is "dirty" or "unholy" but what's really "dirty and unholy" is the fact that you try to scare your child into not doing things instead of working with them. I feel the same things thats done for the gyno, should be done for testing... when your kids turn 18, take them to be tested.

If you don;t want your kids to turn out like the freak-a-zoids you see everyday on campus, make sure you don't treat your kids how their parents treated them.

I have more to say, but I want to do a completely different post for that.... so be on the look out. =]


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

A Big Announcement

Lesson 32:
Embrace the gays

Sooo, i have a very big announcement to make...

[i came out to my mother last night]

as you can imagine i was very nervous about telling her because I have friends who have had very bad experiences. She took is a lot better than i thought... one thing she kept saying was "I don't see you as being gay" and I was like... I'm not gay... I've never seen color or sex... I'm attracted to whomever I'm attracted to. Then of course the "phase" thing came up.. and I explained to her a story that I knew she would remember about this girl I used to be really good friends with and randomly stopped talking to. It was because this was the first girl who I liked... and I thought something was wrong with me, so i distanced myself as far away from her as I could... then there was the dreadful sophomore year of high school [ that petty, simple, retarded people can't forget about ] when I went a lil wild because I was trying to fight my sexuality hard body. I didn't come out to my friends till senior year... but I wish I would have before... but that's beside the point. So yeah... now mommy knows.

MY thing however is other peoples parents... like WHY is it so hard for some people parents to accept the fact? I mean lets be blunt, the majority of the gay people I know act soooo homo !! haha, like why are certain parents in denial.... If I could tell your son/daughter was gay the first time I met them how the hell do you not know and you live with this person?

And then they want to go and act all crazy when they find out. I have one friend who has been through so much with their parents (i wont disclose their sex or name because thats not my place in any way, shape or form... lets call them HC)...anyways HC told their parents that they were gay. The first thing their parents did was kick them out. HC and their parents have probably fell out/been put out/made up a few dozen times... sometimes the situations get even worse ( like police involvement) all because the parents can not accept the fact that this is who their child is.

Another one of my friends..uhhhh...BD... they came out to their parents and they told BD that they were devil spawn or a demon.. i forget which one I also believe that they would blame all of their problems on BD being gay.

Yes these are only 2 stories but if you guys knew as much into these stories as I do it would make you not want to tell your parents anything...

So I ponder... why do parents take it sooo hard when they find out their children are gay? I mean seriously, they would rather hear that their daughter is knocked up and don't know who the daddy is than to find out she's a lady killer... what type of messed up stuff is that?

Im sure all of us have a gay friend (if you don't you have a gay associate cuz ur readin my blog.. l0l) and you love them to death, so why would you not love your gay child. And when we have children who are gay (and lets be real some of us will) lets give them the respect they deserve and not make them feel like a big pile of crap when they are honest with us about their sexuality.. cuz Homos need love too !!

twitterme, emailme, loveme,

Sunday, August 9, 2009

A Lesson from Prof. Sosa

WOW !! So, i havent updated in FOREVER !!

ive been busy doing nothing !! i know i know, but thats y i havent had very many posts... lookin for some inspiration... BUT, while i was looking i ran across this guy named Tony or Professor Sosa... and he has agreed to let me share some of his thoughts with you... so about once a week i'm going to post a story by him, which will help me get stuff out about 2x a week. So heres the first post by Professor Sosa

Lesson 31:
Why you gotta hate mayne?

HATING: (hay-ting) - verb. - 1. the act of disliking another man (or woman) because he/she has something that you are after but you CAN NOT obtain OR have DIFFICULTY obtaining...
2. when one puts down the success or fortunes of another man due to JEALOUSY

HATING is at an ALL TIME HIGH! GONE are the DAYS where most NIGGAS will give you PROPS for doin something big or achieving something that they COULDN'T accomplish...


SO ... I present to the WORLD a CHECKLIST of most of the HATER ACTS that many men have to SUFFER with, sometimes on a DAILY BASIS...

1. IF you are "talking" to a girl and feel the need to mention another man's name that you have seen her with, chances are ... YOU ARE A HATER...
(i.e. "So what's up wit you and TONY??")

2. IF you feel the need to use another man's name to approach a female... YOU ARE A HATER...
(i.e., I WOULD try to holla at you, but TONY may not like that...")


3. if you feel the need to speak to a nigga AND talk about him to a female.... YOU ARE A HATER...
(i.e. TONY cool and all, but I heard he was burning??)

4. if you find yourself telling females, "You let him hit, why I cant hit??" ... YOU ARE A HATER...
(*She won't let you HIT cuz YOU a HATER...!)

IF you suffer from ANY OF these... you sir, may just be a hater...

If a girl REALLY wants to have sex with you... she will EVENTUALLY, REGARDLESS of who her "friends" may be... "HATING" on the next man, will not give you any advantage over him... Clearly, he's doin something right and "hitting some spots" that YOU may not be able to touch... Wait your time young grasshopper, in due time you will find yourself some...


CUT IT OUT! DROP THAT BS!! WE SICK OF IT!! You think it's cool...but I SWEAR IT AINT! Putting down another man and his fortunes, WILL NOT gain you any. Step your game up, polish your pimpin, and you may soon find you "some"....

-Professor Sosa

If you guys have anything that you want me or Tony to write about hit me in an email :: or twitter me::

love.peace.&&hair grease,

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

No Homo?

No intro for this really.. im just gonna get into it

Lesson 30:
Why would you choose to be gay?

Now, when I'm asking this question, i already know that some of you are thinking "this chick is about to go off"... but im really gonna try not to [deep breath]

I would say that in certain aspects, Christians are some of the most ignorant people. Now don't get me wrong, i believe in God... but I have my own relationship with him. Yeah, i smoke, drink and have sex... but you do too. The only difference is that you are repenting every Sunday knowing good and well that you are going to do everything again the next day... I could go on and on about this... but thats not the subject of this blog.

We say that we are accepting of everyone, but at the same time thats not true. I get more comments on not having a preference of girls or guys than anything else, and it pisses me off.

Honestly... why would someone choose to be gay...? Would you? probably not...

If you heteros knew HALF of the stuff that bi-sexuals, homosexuals and transexuals went thru, you would know that knw one would choose that.

People who are gay get turned downed for jobs, talked about, beaten, mistreated, and disowned. When I first told my friends how I felt I was scared. I thought that they wouldn't wanna be cool with me anymore because of it [obviously, it didnt bother them as much as i thought it would]. I know people tho, who have not only been disowned by their "friends", but outed by their "friends"... and not us forget all the stories we've heard about people being killed because of it.

As someone who likes the same-sex, i can tell you that i didn't "choose" this, and neither did any of my other friends... Hell, we all tried to fight it, cuz we thought it was wrong... but its not.. and i would appreciate it if all of u simple minded mofos would stop acting like something is wrong with me.

You don't think that God made us this way. Hell, I don't know how else I got like this. People love coming up with the excuse "oh she likes girls cuz she's been done wrong by guys" umm, politely SHUT THE F*CK UP... cuz to be honest, girls are just as bad as guys [sometimes worse].

My biggest pet peeve are when people say "oh this is just a phase, you'll end up marrying a guy, blah blah blah" -i can't speak for others... but this has been one of the longest phases in my life, and I don't see me liking girls any less...

Gosh, it seems like everyone is afraid of homosexuals.... The government doesn't want us to get married because I guess they think that we are going to take over the world. They always wanna say that a marriage is defined as a man and a woman. This came from the bible.. but umm, id if you have noticed or not, but their is no "set religion" of our country, so why are we using the bible as an excuse [yess, thats what it is, an excuse].
Then, all this "no homo" bs... if you know your not gay why do you feel the need to say no homo after everything?
And then when people find out your bi or gay and they get scared... GIRL I DONT WANNA TALK TO YOU !! trust, your gonna be comin at me on some down-low ish way before I come to you...

Which brings me too DL.. if you guys honestly think ppl choose to be gay, take a look at this DL epidemic. People are scared to come out of the closet because of what society says... hell we shouidn't even have to come out the closet. People don't have to announce that their straight, because everyone assumes that they are until something triggers... it shouldnt even be like that. We should just wait to see who dates who.

My biggest biggest biggest pet peeve in the world is when people are like "ooh, so have you had a threesum?" no you sick prick i havent... Everyone always assumes that just because you like boys and girls that you are this big freak.. no. I say this all of the time, and it was nice to hear Amber Rose say it to "When I'm with a woman, im with a woman. When I'm with a man, I'm with a man". And then people are blown away that I havent had sex with a girl... "how do you know you bi if you haven't had sex with a girl".. well bitch, did you know you were straight before you had sex with the opposite sex? yeah, thats what i thought.

Urgh, im so tired of encountering so many simple people. People, step your cookies up... its 2009 and your stuck in 1952.


Sunday, July 26, 2009


Whats goody B'ham?! i had a great time at Penthouse last night.. i actually missed yall... l0l
anywho... i wrote this blog on the plane ride home yesterday.. but i didnt have time to post [obviously]... enjoy.

Lesson 29:
Who needs friends like these, who needs enemies?

Soo, this has been a very interesting week to say the least. I’ve learned a lot about myself and people who I considered “friends”.

Most people would go around talkin about the other parties involved… and normally that’s exactly what I would be doing too. This time was different thou. I didn’t have the urge to go around telling everyone what happened, in fact, when some people asked me about the situation I was just told them that I didn’t know what they were talkin about it.

It has also made me realize, that u can be 100% genuine with some people, and they will still stab you in the back. But you can fake like you like someone and they will be on you and HARD !! Oh well.. it just goes to show you that you can’t be nice to everyone… sometimes you just have to grab your cohonas [l0l] and be a man about it. As Shawty Lo would say “Ima broke hoes dream, rich hoes cream”

This summer has taught me not to be so judgmental too. I have heard sooo much more things this summer, than I did when I was a freshman. I didn’t think that the change was going to be that drastic, but it was almost like a 180. It’s crazy how much more respect you get at Hampton for not being a freshman.

It also amazes me how much bs people say about others, not caring whether it’s true or not. I can’t even begin to tell you how much ridiculous studd I’ve heard about myself, and people around me... things that aint true in no way, shape or form !! But at the same time… if you’re not being talked about, you aint doin summ right. On that same note tho, when you hear that someone is talkin about you, don’t let it just sit on the back burner… if its someone you're cool with don’t hold it in ( trust me, ive made this mistakes too many times)… say something to them. Its better to go ahead and get it out, so you can either get over it, or drop em. And Ladies…. Ladies, ladies, ladies… please don’t fight. It’s not cute, and no one is laughing with u but ur friends… cuz in the back of everyones mind they like… “look at these dumb girls…” [[brow raise]]. Cuz lets be real, how many beautiful, successful , educated women fight… its cool, I’ll wait for ur answer.






exactly, there are none.... moving on

I follow this lady’s blog… she’s a stripper ay Magic City in ATL… her name is “Brook Lynn Carter”. Her blog is I “l-ove” her. She keeps it real, and has helped me look at myself when it comes to things. She has blogs on everything… and I love her blog hard body. She has shown me that just because some one’s a stripper , doesn’t mean that they aren’t normal people. She’s just as much a woman as anyone else… so what if she takes off her clothes for money… that’s her money, and if u have a problem with how she getting it, stop throwin it... [break]

Over all tho, this summer was bomb. I had a lot of fun, met some cool people, and dropped some not so cool people. So as I sit here on my plane home to B’ham I feel accomplished. Everything that I wanted to happen this summer did, and now the fall is going to be on point*

I should have more time to blog when I’m home, I hope us southern girls don’t bore you with our adventures!! l0l . Hopefully im goin out tonight [I did... l0l] … so you guys make have something to look forward too [you do]. Bye guys, love you. Don’t forget to twitta a nigga. =]

So high in the sky,


ps:: sorry ive been making all these rambling post lately... im trying to keep it as raw as i can... without going back and re-editing... im just kinda writing what/how i feel when i feel it. Lemme knw when it gets to bad tho... then ill try to help a lil... l0l. love you guys. =]

Friday, July 17, 2009

What a blower*

Lessson 28:
dang ma...

Soooo, everyone in college has seen a porn or two. Well my friends were talking about this porno called "Ghetto Gaggers". I had never heard of it before, but they described it to me, and its probably one of the most degrading things in the world.

So now your probably wondering what it is. Well "Ghetto Gaggers" is a pair of white men who go around getting head from black women. Not only are they getting head, but they are like abusing their faces --- I guess its actually the definition of "face f*cking" [for lack of a better word]. The guys shove their cokss sooo hard and sooo far down these girls throats. The majority of these girls end up gagging, some even throw up. And the white guys talk reckless while this is going on. saying things like "take this white cock you black slut" "your such a nasty whore" "you like this white cock?" and other stuff. To make matters even worse, these guys slap and spit on the girls.

I know what you guys are thinking... these girls are porn stars, why does it matter how they get treated. The thing is... this is more than a porn thing...

These guys use this porno as a form of white supremacy.... so this makes me wonder why sooo many people want to do it. I mean come on... you're already a porn star... why add this to your resume?

This just shows that there really are people who have absolutely no respect for themselves. Cuz my thing is this :: WHY, if you KNOW... that these WHITE MEN are targeting BLACK FEMALES so they can BANG THEIR FACES... would you WANT to do this production? In fact... if your approached why would you not be offended? Why would you ever even do it... porn star or not?

I have a point I promise !! haha::
When I see people doing this, it makes me think that women will really do anything to get attention. I shouldn't just say women, because i'm sure if i searched hard enough i could find some pretty degrading stuff men do... but still. No one ever has to stoop down to this level.... There are too many other productive things in life to do... IDK, maybe thats just me.

I really try not to pass judgements on people, but like stuff this just blows me... l0l, get it?

twitter me

Thursday, July 16, 2009

fakeness is weakness

So, i know you guys are tired about me bs with the posting service. Im about to try really hard to start posting at least twice a week. It's not that things are slow, its just that... i find that I don't have that much to write about at the moment. The summer isn't as interesting as I thought it would be... don't get me wrong I'm having fun... but I don't just wanna post any bs up here.

sooo, now that I got that out of the way on to the post

Lesson 27:
don't be a fake girl

So, why as girls are we mad at all of the other girls that the guy /girl that we date used to talk to/date/screw. Not like mad, like you want to fight her... it's just when you see her you feel some type of way. The sad part is, every girl that reads this is going to deny this, because you never want to admit that you think she is better than you for any reason, it's that one fact that she was doin lord knows what with him before you did. It makes you feel gross, especially if you have heard some stories about her from him. You may tell a sly little joke to your friends, you may not even acknowledge her presence to anyone, you guys may nod heads, or you may be really nice to her and hold a conversation . Because when you see her, you want your girls to know that thats the mad "old" girl, you are embarrassed that thats his old girl, everyone knows the story and you guys want to show respect, or you want people to think that you don't have a problem with her, in-fact you love her! - but on the inside your dying.

Or what about that girl who was talkin to your guy while you where? Maybe she was there was a lil while and dipped... or maybe she is the reason that you two arent talkin anymore. No matter who she is, no matter how nice she is, her rankings, her status... anything. Shes the biggest slut, the dumbest girl, the nasty hoe who had the nerve to impose on your man. When you see her you feel crazy. Either you talk about her so much that you surprise yourself, maybe you just don't say anything, or maybe you are just really nice to her. Because when you see her, you either want people to know that you hate her, or you want people to think that you don't care about her, even tho your soooo mad on the inside.

All of these actions happen everyday. However, its those girls who are all up in your face that are the worse. --- My thing is like this, if you don't like me why in the hell are you speaking to me? And its not like everyone around doesn't know the deal, and they wanna know why you are speaking too. I've dealt with a few of these girls before, some are more intense than others.... but they are all annoying.

There are some who are even worse than the ones who just speak. Its the girl that be on your nuts on the internet. I think that the internet is worse because even more people can see it going on. You add them as a friend to be nice because you do know who they are, but you don't expect them to be writing on your wall and commenting on all of your stuff. Don't you hate getting a notification and seein that its that girl... You be like, WTF does she have to say to me now? "Cut Pic girl !!" you just wanna be like chick die !! l0l

What about the girl who tries to be your best friend all of a sudden. So now not only are they speaking all of the time and commenting on everything, now they start texting you... and writing on your wall saying how happy she is that you guys are friends and that you should hang out... GIRL I D0NT WANT TO HANG 0UT WITH YOU !! i dont even want you speaking to me !! haha.

The sad thing is there is not much you can do with these girls. I mean yeah, of course you can tell them to chill cuz you really don't like them like that... and why that would be the easiest solution, most girls are not going to do that. Why? Cuz we want to be polite. The thing is, if more of us did this... we wouldn't have to worry about dealing with all of the annoying bs, and the sly jokes from the guy. So as girls, lets take more initiative and just be straight up about things when it comes to other girls...

I'll try first... i'll tell you how it goes*


Monday, July 6, 2009

The boy is mine...not*

Soo, I had a pretty good 4th this year. It was chill *bling, blow, burr*

However, you know there always has to be the crazy girl of the group, and believe me... this one was.... well i'll just tell the story.

I hate overly sensitive ppl. I just don't see the point in people getting mad or upset over EVERYTHING.. especially if that person is not your man or your woman. I could go into details about everything that happened... but instead I will turn this poor girl into a lesson for others.

Lesson 26:
The boys not yours... or mine*

Soo, this girl really likes this guy im kickin it with. They were cool before I met him, but she liked him more than he liked her. Shes cool at first... but then she just starts doin some... bizare stuff that im not even going to get into. Lets just say... she was being more fake than that Goach on the corner stand.

CHICK GROW UP--- girls like this make me sick !! She's mad at you because your cool with a guy she likes/want. She's mad at you because ya'll chill without her, and heaven knows what ya'll are doing. Why does she care so much? Don't worry tho, it's not your fault that your a cool, fly girl and people wanna be cool with you.

Girls like this are mad at you for more than just this guy. If it was just about the guy she wouldn't be speaking to you in public because its known. You can't be rude and not speak, or be overly nice and have a 30 minute conversation with her. Just give her a nod as you pass by.

When your hanging out with your friend don't mention her and if ya'll are all together make small talk, I mean lets be real, they are gonna ask her to leave before they make you do it.

These girls are put into the world to make real girls check themselves. Because when your slipping on your game in anyway, they are always gonna be there to fill in that void... WHATEVER IT IS.

When it comes to the guy, watch him. Make sure he's not trying to be messy and make the situation worse. And keep him updated enough so that he doesn't think our trying to be messy.

and try not to talk about this situation to anyone but like 1 close friend.